— *disclaimer before you read-— I have a wonderful relationship with my mom and dad NOW (2018) and I love them both dearly. This story of my past is not meant for any negative reflection on them.
Thank ya jesus!
From a very young age my life had been one full of wondering, shyness, voids,worry, hurt and occasionally the fun that a kid SHOULD get to have. My sisters would all tell you, that they have all the memories. They share childhood memories with me from foster care and my mom’s home during home visits. Luckily, there are home videos I’ve seen that confirm, I did get somewhat of a childhood. My childhood best friend, whom I’m still friends with, tells me stories of me being at her house. I don’t recall any of it. Though, I wish I could. All i knew of my dad before I met him at 15 was what my mom said. As a teen, life wasn’t much better than that or much different. I always thought this is just what my life is. You get used to it when you here the negatives and the terrible names you’re called. You grow up thinking that to all be the truth. So, it’s just life as you know it. My childhood led to me partying and drinking way too much before i was even a legal age to drink. Looonng before I was legal age to drink. Even into my early 20’s I was faced with abuse and near death experiences. I went from relationship to relationship. I know now that I was filling a void. I started dancing as a job to afford to raise the two incredible kids I now had by 22. It was one lonnng, crazy train of desperation to be loved and trying to find my place in a world that scared the heck out of me.
Ya see, I was set up in life to be a statistic according to the world’s standards. BUT OH THANKFULLY, how Jesus’ WAYS are not the worlds ways. His standards are greater than the worlds standards and He makes beauty from ashes! It says in the Bible that we are saved by grace as a gift, not by our performance. Oh, how clearly evident that is in my past and my present day life! (Ephesians 2:8) He knew from the beginning the choices I would make, yet he still died for me. He loves me and has all along. He knew from the day he formed me in my mother’s womb who I could be. He knew his plans for me. I’m sharing this with you because I want you to know that no matter what kind of life you’ve led or are leading…you too are never to far gone. God still sees you. He still loves you. He saw me doing everything i wasn’t created to do but he relentlessly pursued me. Today, he still relentlessly pursues me (because I’m a LONG was from perfect). He’s pursuing you too. He’s fighting battles we can’t see. He’s going ahead of us because he loves us and through him, we are saved. Life doesn’t become perfect once we are in Christ. It just means we are better equipped with him to do the hard things because through him we can be strengthened and do anything. Ask me how I know that. 🙂 I know because I went through all I went through, yet somehow, I survived and now I get to lead the life I lead now. A life that isn’t perfect but it’s perfect for me. I do life on a farm, with my amazing husband and 5 kids. We have a decent size farmhouse that fits all of us. There is space to have others come and be served in our home. We have much room for our kids to roam about inside and out on the land. We have land we grow a huge garden on. Ponds to fish for food. We have two vehicles that run well. Mine happens to be my dream car. We are rich in the way that we have our health and each other!! We also have our share of struggles. Do I deserve all this grace, goodness and mercy? OH, heck no. Do i try my best every day to use what He has blessed us with to serve others? Yes! Do i sometimes fail at that? More times than I’d like to admit.
Thankfully, His mercy is new every morning, He forgives with fierce grace and loves us with an unfailing love.
As you go through your day today, however that will look for you, I pray that you’ll find the blessings in your life. I pray that you’ll thank God for each one. I pray that if you don’t know the Lord, that today you will. And, I’ll do my best to do the same!
—biblical truth: *** 1 Peter 2:9 **** <———- my favorite!